I have a road rage problem. No, let me rephrase that. There is a problem today with the way people operate their motor vehicles. My road rage is a symptom of the previously mentioned problem.
|WHY I OUGHTA!|
The unfortunate part about using A1A as a commuter highway is that it’s 2-lanes. A1A hosts vehicles such as school buses. It is a scenic highway, so tourists and snowbirds often use it. The speed limit for much of the commute from where I turned onto A1A until I got just outside of Marineland city limits was 55mph. Stir all of these variables together and you’ve got a highway with a lot of slow driving.
One day, I had a later shift at work that started in the late morning. Traffic was moderate on A1A, but it was moving along well. Me and my little Prius happily hummed along the historic stretch of road when I noticed a large black Suburban roll through a stop sign and turn right in front of me. I slammed on my brakes and luckily did not hit him.
The Suburban continued along with me following several car lengths behind it. Suddenly, its brake lights came on and the SUV lurched forward. I had enough space and distance to roll to a stop, but I wondered what was going on with the guy. He started driving again, and got to a stretch of road that ran through a State Park.
|Washington Oaks State Park|
|Look! Look how many batteries!!!!!!! One for each mile per hour.|
- What did I do to deserve this?
- Was I going to get slaughtered by some crazy man?
- What time was my lunch going to be scheduled for if my shift was so late?
Then, the duality of my personality came into effect: Uniform Cat and Normal Cat.
Normal Cat: Eat dirt.
|Mmm, dirt pudding.|
- I took the high road, which is usually better (this rule does not apply to siblings)
- I was only yelled at, not pummeled by a strange man
- I’m not dumb enough to stop in the middle of a 55mph highway to teach someone a lesson
- After some careful calculations involving Math and Common Sense, I conclude that this encounter cost the man an addition $6.21 in gas due to a number of factors including the speed at which I walked away from him towards Marineland, his gas mileage, the distance for which he followed me, and my enormous imagination.
* Such as too much frosting and not enough cupcake