Sunday, July 7, 2013

When It Rains So Hard My Soul Gets Soaked

If you live in Florida and/or have paid attention to the weather forecast for this area, you know we've essentially been underwater.

This is but a mere drizzle.  But I realized today that this is the only picture of me in the rain!
The past three days have been nothing but rain.  Not just little happy summer showers.  Imagine Forrest Gump-esque precipitation (you know, without all the Vietnam War stuff).

I get it, dude.

Of course, you all know that my job means I need to be outside all day.  For us there is no refuge from the elements, until it's time to go home.  So when the skies opened up and flash flood warnings poured in, my coworkers and I spent a lot of the day sloshing around.  

On Friday, I passed a coworker as she went to do a dolphin encounter.  Through the torrential downpour, our hair plastered to our faces and water streaming down the backs of our wetsuits, she smiled and started singing an 80s pop song (I can't remember which one, because my brain later flooded and I lost like half of my memory).   Everyone around us started laughing and dancing.  

The crooning coworker then said, "We are just a bunch of BAs*.  We just dance around in the rain and go about our day."

THE example of a BA

She was totally right.  Not to say I love all of the weather I experience as a trainer (I HATE WINTER WITH EVERYTHING INSIDE OF ME), but rain is FUN.  Especially when the air temperature isn't sub zero, you can have the time of your life in the deluge if only you just accept that every cell in your body is going to be thoroughly soaked.

What about the animals, you ask?  They're a bunch of BAs, too.  They dolphins don't have anything to complain about, because they're wet all the time anyway.  The pinnipeds celebrate the cooler temperatures with naps.  I mean, what better thing to do on a rainy day?  The otters play around in it, and then go dry off in their den, and then come back out and play, and find rocks, and look at shiny objects, and plot the demise of the universe, but not of course before they take a nap, too.

Think this BA cares if he gets rained on?

Now, there does come a point where we as trainers start to get a little sick of the rain.  Here is a list of things that sort of suck when it comes to working outside in a nonstop, 8 hour rainstorm:

  1. The parking lots flood, which means we have to move our cars while sitting in a wet wetsuit.  Nothing like a little SWASS** on your drive home.
  2. Forget about eating M&Ms (this is the worst one) without getting color dye permanently lodged into your skin 
  3. At some point, your physical body cannot become any wetter.  At this point, all metaphysical parts of you (e.g. soul, consciousness, sanity, intuition) absorb and retain water.  Sanity is usually the first to get water damage (please refer to my singing pal above).

But the fact is, the more we BAs thought about it, we realized there were a lot more pros than cons when it came to working in inclement weather:

  1. No blood-sucking bugs to bleed you dry and make you want to end your own life 
  2. You get to play in the rain
  3. You get to play with animals in the rain
  4.  You aren't judged too harshly for running into the laundry room and putting hot hand towels on your face
  5. Salty, crusty hair? No more, in a rainstorm!
  6. Don't have time to rinse your wetsuit at the end of the day? Whatevs! Just stand outside for 11 seconds!
  7. It's a medically-accepted fact that rainstorms increase your metabolism to the point at which the human body can consume up to three (3) times the amount of calories required for life mostly in the form of refined sugars.  
  8. It's a great team-building experience
God I love this job!

I don't have any pictures of me or anyone I know in the rain, because I'm too busy having a killer time.  But I did take this photo at another facility while I was visiting.  It's further proof that everyone's happy in the rain! 

* Here's a multiple choice quiz.  What does the acronym "BA" stand for?
   a. Brutish Algorithms
   b. Bench-pressing Atoms
   c. Bulgarian Armpits
   d. None of the above

** Wow, ANOTHER multiple choice quiz! What is "SWASS"?
  a.  South Western Ant Slap Stick 
  b. Simple wonderful amazing sensational slugs
  c. Scented woolen action sweat suits
  d. Find it on urban dictionary

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